A LoveHate Relationship
by Weasley-and-Proud
Summary: New Sum. What happens when Lily's parents die? James Potter, that's what. He's there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, and a special bond is formed. Lily finds out who her true friends are, and learns that first impressions can be wrong. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Let me just make this completely, utterly and brutally clear, now…

**I hate James Potter!**

I hate the air he breathes, I hate the ground he walks on, and most of all I hate that stupid cocky grin that he wears every time he asks me out. And I'll give you one guess to what my answer is every single time…NO! You'd think that he'd get it through that thick skull of his, but I guess that he'll never learn. Or maybe he just likes getting turned down…probably a nice refreshing change, from all of the girls that throw themselves shamelessly at him.

"Jesus, Lily! Why do you hate him so much?" my best friend, Amy, demands whilst in Herbology one morning. "What has he done to you that's so awful?"

"Amy, as long as he lives and breathes I will loathe him for all eternity. Now pass me that trowel before this plant-which-I-have-currently-forgotten-the-name-to bites my hands off. Although Madam Pomfrey is very, very good, I doubt she can re-grow all of my bones and flesh from the wrist up."

She hands me the small spade, and I whack the plant on it's long ugly yellow roots sharply with the edge of the blade. It squeals then spits out several - fist sized - pods before shrivelling up and lying defenceless against our work station. I smile and blow a long strand of my red hair out of my eyes.

"But what I really can't understand is why you keep turning him down! I mean he's so popular, and tall, and…"

I ignore her for a while whilst she throws out some random adjectives. I put a clear glass pot in front of me and slice open the pods, and an ugly thick viscous green slime slithers reluctantly out and into the bowl. I sigh in relief when I'm done with this disgusting task. Although we're supposed to be doing it together, Amy's mind is still elsewhere.

"…and funny, and sweet, and…"

_OK, I'll give her a few more seconds to get all of that out of her system. _

The only thing in my mind about James Potter - apart from the hating-him-until-I-die part - is how _satisfying_ it would be to poor this sticky green glop all over his black hair. Who knows, it might perform a miracle and deflate his big head a little bit, you never know. We can always hope.

"…and friendly, and cute, and not to mention a fantastic kisser! And he's good at Quidditch…"

"What? Amy, did you just say that James Potter is a _fantastic kisser_?" I exclaim, my eyes bulging from my head.

She turns a startling shade of scarlet then hides her face behind a curtain of shoulder-length blonde curls.

"Amy! Have you kissed _James Potter_?"

She gives me a sideways glance through her hair, her electric blue eyes pleading. I can't believe it! My best friend has kissed him, and she didn't tell me about it!

"Oh my God! Why would you do that? What would ever _poses_ you to do that?"

"Well…just because you don't like him…" she mumbled quietly.

"And you do?" I practically scream, stabbing our next nameless plants roots with so much force that the table quivers. Amy scuttles of to get the next one, ready for me to kill it, rather than her.

"Excuse me, Miss Evans. If you don't keep your voice down, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to deduct points from Gryffindor," Professor Sprout, announces cheerily, bouncing around examining how everyone is getting along.

I snarl and mutter under my breath about injustice, and focus on forcing the green stuff to fall out of the next pod.

After a while of silence, and of Amy fetching the plants while I crucify them, Professor Sprout announces that we need to bring our glop (although that's not the name she used) to her desk, and it's the end of the lesson. So, I grudgingly pick up the overflowing bowl and wander down towards the front of the greenhouse. Professor Sprout smiles at me when she sees my work. Next to me, a 7th year Slitherin shoots me a glare of complete and utter hatred. I just smile sweetly back at her, and her - almost - empty bowl.

I hang up my gardening robe and goggles, pick up my bag and storm off in direction of the Transfiguration classrooms. Amy has Divination next, so I know she's not following me, but I still practically run all the way there, to stop anyone catching up with me.

It works, and I'm the first in the classroom. McGonagall looks up from her work to give me one of her stares before looking back down again. _Sheesh, I'm the head girl for Christ sakes! I'm hardly going to be up to no good, am I?_

As usual, McGonagall sets absolutely mountains of homework, then sends us on our way to lunch. I stuff all of my work into my bag and grumpily make my way into the Great Hall.

When I see my ex-boyfriend, Adam, sat at the Ravenclaw table with his new girlfriend, I sigh angrily and storm over to where Jack - my other best friend - is sitting, waiting for me. I practically make the table shake when I throw down my bag.

"Good morning?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at me.

"No," I say bluntly, messily slopping some lasagne onto my plate and I pick it apart with my fork.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks again.

"Later," I snarl as the King of Jerks, himself, walks through the door and swaggers towards me with his evil henchmen at his heels. Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. OK, to be fair I have nothing against Remus, he's a nice, polite, intelligent guy, so I can't help but wonder why he's involved with goons like James and Sirius. And Peter, well he's just the kind of boy ruled by his huge love for food. But I nearly fall out of my seat when I see who's walking with them, smiling.

Amy's holding Sirius's hand and he's making her giggle like a…well a, giggling idiot. _TRAITOR!_

"Hey, Evans!" the King Jerk, grins at me.

"Potter," I say in acknowledgement. He's lucky he got that, and not a jinx aimed at his huge head.

"Hi, Lily. Do you mind if I sit with Sirius today?" Amy asks, still laughing at Sirius.

"No, fine," I snap, turning back to dissect my food, I can sense that Jack is slowly understanding my bad mood.

"Aww, Evans. Don't be grumpy," King Jerk, patronises.

"I'm not grumpy," I scowl.

"_Really_?" he challenges, his grin widening so that it almost fills up the whole of his face.

"Do you want me to hex you so badly that you'll be in the hospital wing from now until Christmas?" I ask, in a sugary sweet voice.

"Ohhhh! Come on Prongs, I think Madam Pomfrey has seen quite enough of us this term anyway. We don't want to upset, Evans. She'll report us to Dumbledore! Won't you, Head Girl?" Sirius jokes, slapping King Jerk on the back.

"Just because I take my duties seriously. You know, Potter, you should think about doing the same thing." I retort. "Or, just maybe - by accident of course - I might somehow, slip up, and tell McGonagall about that stash of Firewhiskey that you Marauders keep hidden under the sofa in the common room," I say slyly, smiling innocently.

King Jerk's eyes widen in confusion, Remus sighs, Peter's too busy stuffing his face to hear what I've just said, but Sirius stares at me in suspicion.

"How do you know about that?" he demands, moving closer so that nobody can hear our conversation that's not supposed to.

"I have my ways. And I'm sure that McGonagall would be very intrigued to hear about them."

"You wouldn't _dare_!" he whispers threateningly in my ear.

"Try me," I breathe back, flashing him a warning grin.

"Alright, Padfoot, she's got us beat. Fair play, Evans," King Jerk smiles, I glare in reply. He then turns, and walks down the table to find a place to sit.

"See you, Lily!" Amy calls happily, whilst Sirius tows her alongside him.

I turn back to the table, and snatch the glass of pumpkin juice, that Jack's holding out for me, out of his hands. I down the whole thing in one go.

"Lil…"

"_Don't…say…a…word,_" I say, through clenched teeth.

"OK!" he mutters, holding up his hands in surrender. "Bear in mind that it's them you're angry with, not me."

I sigh to calm myself down, "yeah, I know. Sorry, Jack," I apologise, "I'm just stressed at the moment."

"I guess that it doesn't help that the Head Boy prefers to cause trouble rather than prevent it," he smiles understandingly.

"No. Circumstances aren't ideal," I agree, shovelling a forkful of pasta in my mouth all at once.

"Oh, very delicate and ladylike," he comments.

"Leave me alone, I'm hungry," I say after swallowing.

"Alright! But what's happened with Amy? Since when has she had a thing for, Black?"

"I don't know!" I snap, finishing off my lasagne and throwing down the cutlery, it crashes against the plate, and it smashes.

"Er…"

"I've got it," I interrupt, sighing, pulling out my wand, "Reparo!" The pieces all fly together and mend themselves.

"Lily, what happened between you this morning? You were angry when you came in, before you even saw them together."

I groan and tell him about our conversation in the Greenhouse. And much to my annoyance and disbelief, he's not surprised.

"Well, you know how she is - no offence to her or anything - but it's no surprise that she's kissed Potter. By this time, I bet she's been through most of the boys in our year. And he's a ladies man, so you can't really be that shocked. It probably didn't mean anything. Her with Black is harder to understand…"

"How? Potter is much worse than Black in that field, anyway. Actually, they're both awful," I quickly correct, to make myself very clear.

"Well, in any case, Black doesn't date. He uses, then leaves before things get serious. And that's why it surprises me that Amy wants to put herself through that. Though in fairness, I've never seen him, with any girls. He usually works in secret, even though it's never a _massive_ secret, as to what he's up to - Potter makes sure of that. And they were defiantly holding hands."

"Yeah, and your point is? You're not actually saying that Black might want to solidify things with Amy? He doesn't know commitment to only one girl at a time! She's going to get hurt. Then I'll have to kill him," I tell him.

But James Potter is the guy to date at Hogwarts! Head boy, lead Marauder, and captain of the Quidditch team! It's almost like a trophy, to say that he's been involved with you! Of course, I wouldn't know how it worked from a girls prospective, but in my opinion, a girl would have to be completely insane not to agree to go out with him!"

I clear my throat and give him my death stare. It takes him a couple of seconds to realise what he's said.

"Oh, er… I'd better go, if I'm late to transfiguration McGonagall will kill me…"

"No! Jack, you tell me what you meant by that!"

"Got to dash, Lil! I'll see you in potions."

"JACK!" but I'm too late.

He's already fled the Great Hall to get to class, about ten minutes early.

How dare he say that about me! Is it just me who hates James Potter and his goons, now? Am I the only member left of an endangered James Potter hating species? Life is so cruel.

Right, it's decided. If Black hurts Amy - no matter how stupid she's been - I will tie him up and levitate him over the Lake, and wait for the merpeople to come and drag him down for their pet Grindylow's to play with. That should make him rethink messing with my friends.

And the next time Potter asks me out, I'm going to blast his brain out of his nose. No prat-faced-jerk beats Lily Evans. Not even one like Potter. And who knows, I might even get the chance to shrink his abnormally large head down to size.

Who says that the Head Girl can't get her own form of revenge? Potter and his friends may have experience in the buckets, but I have something far, far better than thousands of detentions and a stupid nonsensical nickname…


	2. Chapter 2

By Friday, I am sick to death of life.

It's not just a certain group of people (I am _certainly_ not referring to the Marauders, whatever would give you that impression?) who have adopted my ex-best friend into the first female member of their posse for losers, that irritates me.

Moreover, it is not the fact that I have to do rounds with a _certain member_ of that retarded, innominate group of stupid imbeciles.

In addition, it is defiantly nothing to do with the fact that I woke up this morning to find that my ex-best friend was missing from her bed; then only to see her emerging from her fellow member of that unnamed group of idiots I keep mentioning, aka that prat of a boyfriend's, dorm.

And it is nothing to do with the fact that I have only the weekend to finish all of my homework AND try to work on producing a Patronus for Charms!

But in case you didn't already notice, THIS IS ALL JAMES BLOODY POTTER'S FAULT!

OK, maybe the part about the homework _isn't_ strictly speaking his fault…but if it was not for him always making flirtatious remarks to me in the common room when I'm doing my work and trying to revise, I might actually be able to concentrate and FINISH it! Is it so hard to wish to just be left alone sometimes?

The point is that if I could go to the library, I would so I could study in peace. However, I cannot do that because my stupid ex-boyfriend practically lives there! And I refuse to be _anywhere_ near him if I can help it.

I swear to God, the whole of Ravenclaw_ house_ should just move from their common room to the library! Is it just part of being a Ravenclaw to simply annoy the heck out of me and swot in the library for all of eternity, or to have their heads always shoved in a book?

So now I am forced to study in the common room where Potter can just sit down across from me and talk about absolute rubbish at his leisure! _GRRR_R!

Anyway, back to the original point, by Friday I'm sick of living in a world where I cannot work in peace, so I've decided that from now on I'm going to have to take my books, and a blanket and camp out at the very top of the astronomy tower.

Yes, it is going to be absolutely freezing up there, so I may have to wear gloves and charm my ink pot with a warming spell so that the ink inside doesn't freeze solid in the cold. Nevertheless, if it is a Potter-free zone I am all for the sacrifices I am going to have to make.

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It's last period on a Friday afternoon, and Jack and me are in Potions and both of us are huddled around our lit cauldron to try and keep warm. I can tell you now; it is not like being on a tropical island in the dungeons this time of year. It's only early November and it's already snowed twice!

It's rather unfortunate that – no matter how much of a nice guy he is – poor Jack seems to be one of the many people in Slughorn's class that simply doesn't get potions at all. Ask him to tell you where the biggest known living pack of Leprechauns is situated, and he'll answer in a heartbeat. But tell him to brew a simple Swelling Solution and you've got a major crisis waiting to happen.

Unfortunately for him, his Mother was adamant that he had to take Potions for NEWT or she'd ban him from Quidditch and confiscate his broom until the summer holiday. And with Jack being Jack, no Quidditch was not an option, so he took the class. _Yet another boy shamelessly addicted to that sport! Sheesh! _Therefore, he had begged me to tutor him so he would get a good grade; so far, no miracles have occurred.

Slughorn has asked us to produce a sample of the Draught of Living Dead, and I am doing all of our work – like usual – as he makes notes and passes me the ingredients; it is a process that makes sure that we both get the best grades possible.

I add the final ingredient, Slughorn checks it and marks it as 'perfect as to be expected', and then he rushes over to help some poor Hufflepuff girl, who looks as if her potion has come to life and is trying to strangle her.

Jack packs away our equipment and I pick up my bag. Even though he's apologised about what he said on Monday about the dating thing, we're still not completely normal with each other yet. Sure, we're not arguing, but every conversation seems strained and forced, so we walk in silence.

We only just reach the exit to the Dungeons when we see it. Sirius Black's little brother (Regulus isn't it?) is being beaten up by another Slytherin.

"Hey!" I shout. "Stop it!" I fire a harmless amount of red sparks at them both, and the massive Slytherin turns to glare at me.

"Well, nobody would expect a filthy mudblood like you to understand matters more important that petty _Hogwarts_ business," he snarls, kicking Regulus fiercely from where he's lying in a heap on the floor.

"Move along, or I will fetch one of the professors," I warn him smoothly.

"Oh, I'm soo scared! Go run to Dumbledore. All he'll do is give me a pathetic detention, anyway. The old man's grown too soft for his own good. And someday soon, maybe somebody will just _slip _up, and he'll end up where he can't protect _mudblood's_ like you anymore!"

"Oi, Hill! Don't you dare use that name!"

I turn around and see Potter coming down the hallway with his wand out. _Great, just what I needed! _"It's fine, Potter. I've got this situation under control," I tell him, shooting him a warning look.

"Like a mudblood could ever have control over the more superior purebloods!" Hill snorts, stalking towards me.

"One more step and you're in the hospital wing," Potter warns viciously.

"Fine, then," he smirks, before spitting at me.

Before Potter even has the chance to move, or Hill makes another advance. I lunge forwards and punch him in the face; I grab him by the scuff of his robes and pull him down to my height.

"Now, let's get one thing straight," I say in a soft but threatening voice. "You are at school, surrounded by _many_ superior older wizards, like Professor Dumbledore. And he chose _me_ to be Head Girl. So say what you want about me, call me names, or spread nasty rumours - I don't care. But if you _ever_ spit on me again, or I catch you bullying other students and hexing people in the hallways, you will wish that you'd never even heard the name Voldemort! Do I make myself clear?" when he doesn't reply, I shove him backwards and walk away.

"Cruc-" he starts.

"Densaugeo!" I yell back, interrupting him from finishing his curse, spinning back around to face him.

His front teeth begin growing at an alarming rate and his head begins to droop and get weighed down, you can see the panic in his eyes.

"_Never_ use an unforgivable curse! _Ever_!" I scream shrilly. I look at Regulus Black who is desperately trying to push himself up off the floor. "Potter, help Black up, and take him to the hospital wing," I order, he nods, slightly in awe. "And Hill, fifty points from Slytherin and detention," I add before stalking away, flicking the counter spell at him so his teeth go back to normal.

It takes me a couple of seconds to realise that Jack is jogging along beside me trying to keep up. He's breathing heavily and his bag seems to have dropped off of his shoulder because he's now dragging it along behind him on the stone floor.

"Lily!" he calls, "Lily, slow down!"

I ignore him and keep walking, if anything I speed up. I'm not in the mood to try and have a civilised conversation with anybody, particularly because my Transfiguration essay is begging to be completed – damn you McGonagall – at the very top of the Astronomy tower.

"Lily! Please stop!" he pleads, full out sprinting now, which is a little hard to understand because I am only speed walking. I guess that it is the constant running away from Potter that has improved my stamina and agility; good to know that it's good for something!

"Silver Goblet," I say to the fat lady; still half way down the corridor. She swings open, giving me a wary look as I pass into the common room.

There's a quiet grunt of pain as Jack whacks his knee on the table just past the portrait hole. "Lily! Stop!" he orders, as I try to make it to the safety of the girl's dormitories.

Deciding that I am probably not going to stop unless I get trampled by a herd of stampeding hippogriffs, he lunges forwards and pulls me to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" I exclaim in outrage, trying to scramble to my feet with my dignity still intact.

"I'm sorry, but please talk to me! This is getting ridiculous!" he explains apologetically.

I sigh and pull him to his feet, andthen I wander over to the fireplace and throw myself down into the left side of the sofa. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask, trying to be polite.

"I want to talk about—"

"Evans!"

"Hey Lily!"

_Noooooooooo! Keep calm, do not do anything rash like throw a book at them, or grab him by his robes and stick his head into the fire and burn his hair off, or— _

"So, Evans; that was quite a show you put on back there!" Black informs, sitting down next to me on the sofa. Well, when I say next to, I practically mean _on-top-of_! Then to make matters a thousand times worse, he drapes his arm around my shoulder and pulls me even closer to him.

Oh, and what does Amy do? She laughs, that's what. Her boyfriend is positively hitting on her best frie— _ex_-best friend, and she _laughs?_! If I wasn't soo pinned down next to Black, I would get up grab _her_ by _her_ robes and stick _her_ head into the fire and burn _her_ hair off!

"Black, if you don't get away from me now – and I will only say this once – I am going to end up doing something to you that will resolve you to tears," I warn him evenly.

"Oh, and what's that? Are you going to dash my dreams and refuse to let me kiss you?"

"Sod off, Black, or I swear to god you'll regret it!" I snarl as Amy giggles stupidly.

"Now _why_ would I do that?" he asks in a mischievous sort of way that I don't trust at all. "Why would I move when I'm just soo_ comfy_?"

"Because if you don't you'll—Whoa! Whoa, what are you doing? Get away from me!" I exclaim, craning my neck away from his face as he starts trying to kiss me, grinning and making Amy squeal with hysterical laughter.

I'm not quite sure how long this goes on for but we seem to gather quite a crowd. Half of Gryffindor house seems to be watching us and laughing.

After a furious few minutes, Black finally manages to lock his lips onto mine. I wriggle and squirm but his hold on me is annoyingly firm.

"Petrificus Totalus!" shouts a voice from the direction of the portrait hole.

Feeling completely scandalized, I push Black's frozen form onto the floor and wrinkle my nose in disgust before scrubbing at my mouth with the sleeve of my robes.

"Sorry about that Evans," says the voice of my saviour…_oh bloody hell! Out of all of the people it could have been, it __**had**__ to be him!_

"In my opinion you need to keep Black on a tighter lead, so he doesn't keep going astray!" I snap irritably, trying to get up without falling off the sofa.

"You actually have _no idea_ how funny that is!" Potter grins walking towards me. "Um…do you need a little help?" he asks carefully, watching me thrashing with the overstuffed cushions.

I'm about to refuse him forcefully, but at that particular moment my school robes got trapped somehow and I nearly toppled onto the carpet. But thankfully – or not – Potter has good reflexes – damn it! Did I actually just _compliment_ the King Jerk? – And he manages to catch me before I land on top of Black, who is still frozen in a ridiculous position.

Potter looks at me in alarm, realising what he's just done. "Sorry," he apologises, setting me down onto my feet quickly. He steps away from me and runs his hand through his hair nervously.

Before I even have the chance to think up a reply, a magnificent phoenix comes soaring through the window.

"Fawkes…" I murmur as he comes and settles down on the back of the sofa. He looks at me and lifts out his leg, there's a piece of rolled-up parchment tied to it. I exchange a look with Potter before stepping forwards.

Fawkes allows me to untie the parchment, and as soon as I have it in my hand, he sings softly before disappearing back the way he came.

I look down at the parchment in my hand, confusion overtaking all of my irritation for Black and Amy and annoyance for Jack, who is still sitting down exactly where he'd been before I was assaulted. With shaking fingers, I unfold the scroll and begin to read.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_ Would you please pay a visitation to my office as soon as possible. A grave situation has made itself present. The password is 'jelly babies'_

_ Regards, Albus Dumbledore_

That was unusually short for Dumbledore, and informal, and in a strange sort of way, it seems somewhat rushed.

I pick my bag up and throw it over my shoulder, pocket the note and exit the common room. Something about this whole concept makes me feel very uneasy. Something just isn't right.

I walk to the Dumbledore's office in a sort-of trance. "Jelly babies," I murmur and the gargoyle lets me pass through. I knock and wait at the door before he calls:

"Come in Miss Evans."

So I open the door and step into the office, just knowing that this isn't going to be a pleasant announcement. And as to my suspicions, Dumbledore's first words are: "You'd better sit down Lily, this may come as a bit of a shock," he says, signalling to a chair in front of his desk.

_Nope, this can't be good at all. He never calls any student by their first __name. _Cautiously I sit down not liking that look on his face, waiting for the inevitable bombshell.

"Lily, it's about your parents…"


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I'm really sorry for the length of time it takes for me to update! But I have lots of homework (rubbish excuse, I know)! Please don't hate me! Save the death threats until after you've read the chapter! I love you all! :D xxx**_

"_Parents…terrible accident…the killing curse…continue living with your sister…funeral is scheduled sometime next week…sorry for your loss…"_

I am hearing Dumbledore's words but they won't set in. _No, it's not possible…my parents aren't dead. They're just not…they can't be…_

Numbly, I stand up from my chair and walk out of the office. Dumbledore doesn't call me back; he lets me go.

I'm left alone with my haunted thoughts as I make my way – slowly – back to the Gryffindor tower. I'm half aware that I give the fat lady the password and climb through the portrait hole and into the common room. I'm brought back to the present by somebody repeatedly calling my name.

"Oi! Evans! Evaaans! Earth to Lily-flower!" says Black in a dreary tone.

_So they took pity and decided to unfreeze him then. Shame, I preferred him a lot more when he was unable to speak and annoy me..._

Wordlessly, I turn to face him and stare blankly; this seems to startle him a bit_._

"Um…are you alright?" Potter asks concernedly.

I just stare; my voice seems to have disappeared.

"What's wrong? Your folks told you your pocket money's been stopped?" Black jokes, his confidence coming back once my eyes have left him.

"No," I whisper hoarsely. "They can't. Because they're dead," my voice cracks weakly at the end. And finally, a trail of tears pile out of my eyes and fall rapidly down my cheeks.

Then it's their turn to stare at me. Their eyes are huge and their mouth open in shock. Black looks horrified with himself, and Potter just looks a mix between sickened and alarmed.

Unfortunately, now I've started crying I can't stop. I completely break down on the spot. I'm shaking uncontrollably and my legs are threating to give way beneath me.

A few seconds later, without being completely sure how it happened, Potter is leading me towards the sofa near the fire. Grateful to take the pressure off of my legs, I sink down into the cushions.

Potter sits down next to but somewhere among the next few minutes I'm curled up against him and his arms are holding me tightly.

"I…I…I still h-hate you…" I say between my tears.

"I know you do," he lulls, "It's OK though. Everything will be alright, I promise."

"No it won't!" I sob, clinging onto him even tighter.

"Yes it will," he insists, starting to stroke my hair.

"They're g-gone! Murdered…!"

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I'm not really sure how long we sit there for. But Potter just lets me cry all over him whilst he acts as my gravitational pull – keeping me grounded in some way at least.

Eventually I must have cried myself to sleep on the sofa, huddled together with Potter_._

He woke up first because at about three am, he gently picked me up in his arms – with me still half asleep – and somehow managed to carry me up the girls staircase to my dorm without being sent sprawling back down again, and he put me gently into my bed. Then he lifted my sheet over me so that I wouldn't get cold, which is quite considerate if you think about it.

Well, what I guess I'm trying to get at here is that I don't think I can hate James Potter anymore. How can I when he was there for me like that when I needed a shoulder to cry on? Even though I told him I hated him, he still stayed and let me ruin his robes and deafen him in one ear.

There are just certain things that you have to go through that make you want to crawl up in a ball and never move again, but Potter – no, James – helped me when I needed it, and he helped me by simply just being there. Maybe he's not the arrogant toe-rag I always thought he was…

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When I wake up on Saturday, the dorm is completely empty of my roommates, the curtains are all open and I notice a note on my dressing table.

_Lily,_

_ Meet me in the kitchens when you get this._

_ From The Arrogant Toe-rag x_

I can't help but smile a little bit at this, before remembering why I'd been crying last night in the first place. The realisation comes back as a whack in the gut.

Trying to prevent the inevitable tears for as long as I can, I walk over to my wardrobe and grab some clothes out of it at random: a pair of old trackies, a really baggy t-shirt and a my most comfortable hoody. I don't bother brushing my hair; I just drag it up into a messy ponytail. I stuff my wand into my pocket and shove my trainers on before leaving the sanctuary of my dorm.

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I step into the kitchens and I immediately see James sat at a table in the corner of the room. He looks up and signals to the chair directly opposite him. I fall into it, sighing before almost instantly getting swarmed by over eager house-elves. James asks for two bacon butties, which he seems to know are my favourite thing to eat on a Saturday.

We sit in silence whilst James taken in my bedraggled form and knotted hair. I swear I must look like the living dead, and there is an almost certainty that I have massive bags under my eyes and they are still bloodshot from all of the crying I did last night. There was a reason I didn't look in the mirror this morning; seeing my own refection would have just been a reminder of what I've lost; seeing my Mothers eyes staring back at me would have sent me over the edge.

"Lily, are you OK?" he asks tentatively.

"I'm fine," I croak. _Eurgh! My voice is all funny!_

A little house-elf puts a delicious smelling sandwich down in front of me, as well as a goblet full of pumpkin juice. She then turns to look up at me with her big eyes that are full of sadness and sorrow.

I smile weakly at her, "Thank you, Plinky."

"You are most welcome, missy Lily!" she beams at me before patting my hand reassuringly and scampering back off to where she was preparing…Dinner?

"What time is it?" I ask James.

"You just missed lunch by about half an hour," he says carefully. "You were up pretty late last night; you deserved a good sleep, um…so yeah."

I sigh and pick up my brunch in both hands. The sandwich tastes amazing and as well as stopping my stomach from growling, it gives me a perfect distraction from thinking about more important things.

"So, how do you know the house elves," he ponders after taking a bite of his own food.

"Well, Amy and I discovered how to get here in our first year. So now whenever it's one of our birthdays – or and other reason to celebrate for that matter – we have the house-elves give us our own mini-feast in our dorm with all of the things that we like best."

James smiles at me, a look of surprise etched onto his handsome face…wait, _what? Handsome?_ I must be delusional, no _way_ is James Potter _handsome_.

"First year!" he exclaims. "I only discovered it half way through second!"

This make me smile a little. "How is that even possible? The stuck-up, goody-goody, Lily Evans finding a secret passageway before the ultimate prankster and all-round sneaky, James Potter? What happened, James? You couldn't have slipped up like that!"

"Oh, shut up, Lily!" he grins before noticing something that makes his eyes widen massively. "Wait…'_James'_? You called me 'James'?"

"Yes, because it's your name," I reply simply, taking another bite of my sandwich.

"I know! But you didn't call me 'Potter'!"

"Do you prefer 'Potter'?"

"No! No, 'James' is good… no, 'James' is great!" 

"Don't enlarge your head any more or it'll explode!" I warn him.

He laughs at me before saying solemnly, "Oh, and you are _not_ stuck up."

"Well, you seem to be the one always calling me that," I accuse pointedly.

"I'm sorry," he apologises sincerely.

"Yeah…and James? It seems that I owe you an apology. I've been nothing but awful to you, and last night…well, I don't think I would have survived without you being there. So, thank you."

He gapes, open mouthed, at me as if I've grown another head. "Was that an actual apology from Lily Evans? Wow!" he smiles gently.

"I mean it, James. I owe you big time," I tell him sincerely. "But I still can't believe that they're g-gone," I whimper.

James takes my hand off of the table and squeezes it reassuringly; I somehow manage to give him a very small smile in reply.

We sit like that for Merlin-knows how long, probably hours, but eventually he leads me back up to the common room; where we sit down next to each other in front of the fireplace. We talk about anything and everything that we can possibly think of, I learn that he is an only child, and I tell him the basic gist between me and my relationship with my oh-so-adoring sister.

I think a small first year might have accidentally walked straight into the wall, head first, in shock of seeing us sat together without yelling or attempting to strangle and kill each other.

When it gets to dinner time, we walk down to the Great Hall to eat. James sits down on one side of me, and with Black on his other.

"Look, Evans – Lily. I'm really sorry about last night; not only for speaking without thinking – which I am always doing much to everyone's annoyance – but for attacking you in the common room beforehand," he apologises guiltily.

"Don't worry about it, Sirius. You didn't know. It's fine. Whereas I think I can just about handle not hexing you for the assault," I assure him with a weak smile.

"Thanks Lily. Oh, and I'm sorry for you loss," he says, looking strangely – strange for him anyway – solemn.

I just nod before wondering, "Hey, where's Amy? I only ask because you seem to go around everywhere together these days."

"Actually, I don't know. The last time I saw her was at breakfast," he tells me, starting to pile food onto his plate in front of him.

"Oh, OK," I say, just as Jack sits down on my other side. I throw my arms around his shoulders and he hugs me back fiercely.

"Are you OK, Lil?" he asks into my hair.

"No. But I will be," I pull away and smile thankfully at James.

"I'm here for you if you ever need anything," Jack promises sincerely, our previous argument seemingly completely forgotten.

"Yeah, and I'm here if you ever need a punch bag, moving target to haul jinxes towards or somebody to yell and scream at," James says.

"And I will always be somewhere if you ever need a quick cheer-up shag," Sirius winks.

"You can't be serious!" I cry out.

"Oh, but I am! My name _is_ Sirius!"

James throws a carrot at him, rolling his eyes.

"How many 'Sirius/serious' jokes do you get a day?" I ask him.

"On a good day, three or four. But on a bad day, it can be anything up to fifteen times," James informs me.

"Oh Merlin!" I exclaim. "Sirius, you need to invest in some new jokes! These – frankly – suck!"

"Ah, but you see Lilykins, you can't beat the originals! You can't say that you've _Siriusly_ heard any better ones!" he smirks with an eyebrow raised.

I throw a carrot at him, causing James to choke on his food and start laughing at his best-mate's face of surprise.

"Wow! Lily Evans throwing food around! Surely there must be a rule against that sort of behaviour!" Sirius says dramatically.

"Yep, there sure is. But personally, I think that rule is _Siriusly_ over rated!" I giggle at his incredulous expression.

He yells excitedly at my use of his joke. "SEE! I told you it was original and the best!" he grins.

"Oh, shut up Padfoot!" James laughs rolling his eyes.

"Prongs! Oh! I am deeply hurt! How could you talk to me like that! I'm hurt! Hurt, I tell you!" Sirius weeps, pretending to cry into his hands.

Without communication James and I each reach for the carrot tray and together we catapult vegetables at Sirius at the same time, they bounce off his face. Jack just laughs at us all, shaking his head amusedly before pulling out his reading book.

"Such a waste of food," I hear Sirius grumble under his breath, trying to pick all of the carrot out of his hair.

Even though I know I am a long way off healing, I know that I will have friends here for me when I need them.

Jack has been here for me for years, we've grown up together. We were instantly really good friends from as soon as he sat down next to me after we were both sorted, in our very first time at Hogwarts. All through our years at school he had been there if I needed him, always available to sit and calmly listen to me whilst I ranted about my daily Potter trauma. Never once did he complain about me being friends with a Slytherin, and he never rubbed it in my face when that friendship concaved. He's never been a popular guy in the social crowd, but he does have some pretty harsh competition. Being the only semi-normal guy standing beside the Marauders! I honestly don't know how he manages not to go crazy, sharing a dorm with them and everything! I only know that_ I'd_ have lost my head by now!

Sirius will be Sirius, I guess. Sex addict and pervert or not, he'll be there if I ever need a good laugh. His strange personality and temperament has most girls fawning over him. Personally I've never seen it. Sure, his hair's nice, and he's got a pretty good body, but it's not the sort of thing that has me out of my mind with craziness. Another reason why most other girls must like him is because he plays Quidditch. But, if I'm being completely honest, Beaters kind of freak me out a bit. The idea of people flying around with clubs in their hands and purposely trying to whack heavy lethal Bludger's – which are dangerous enough without being directed – towards the opposition, with the exact goal of knocking somebody off their broom, just – to me – seems morally wrong.

And then there's James. With his hazel eyes and messy raven-black hair, he has just as many followers as Sirius does. According to various girls who I have heard giggling in the hallways, he's actually a really sweet guy once you get to know him – which I got a sample of this morning myself – and then of course there's Amy reporting that he's and 'amazing kisser'… I'm not all together sure how to react to that last part, but I know that there's more to him than I once thought. Sure, we may not have always seen eye-to-eye, we may have yelled at each other more times than we've actually talked in the past, and I may have always claimed to hate his guts. But right now, he seems alright, in fact he seems really nice. And anyway, everybody's always telling me tha it's about time I gave him a chance to get to know him a little better than just the annoying prick that follows me around. And who knows, maybe I might someday be able to call him a good friend.

_**Soo…what did you think? Any good? Please review! It means the world to me to check my emails and find that somebody's practically left me a gift-wrapped virtual present! **__**And anyway, the sight of new reviews might just motivate me to work faster (wink-wink nudge-nudge**____**)**_

_**I'll try not to take so long to update next time, but it really depends on how much my teachers choose to punish me. It's their fault, not mine! Xxx **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: **__**So, yeah… well, hi, it's me again. This chapter is a bit longer that my previous ones, so I hope that's a good thing. I really didn't get all that I wanted into this chapter but I thought it was getting too long, so I changed it so that what I initially wanted in this chapter got put into the next one. But, anyway…happy reading**____**!**_

"Lily? Lil's?" asks a voice from directly above me.

I groan and open my eyes; thankfully the curtains are still drawn so I'm not blinded by the natural light. Slowly a face comes into focus.

"James?" I murmur groggily.

"Yeah," he replies, smiling timidly.

"Uh, where am I?" I demand, rubbing my eyes and sitting up carefully; making sure that I don't move the duvet too far down so that my body's not exposed to the cold morning air.

My trackies and t-shirt that I was wearing last night are crumpled up under the bed sheets, and I can feel my knotted mess of tangled hair slithering messily down my neck.

I pull the duvet up to my chin and snuggle into it. Oh my God it smells _amazing_…I'm not completely sure what of, but if I was never able to move again, I would be perfectly content. If I concentrate really hard, the smell of the outdoors and honey come to mind, but they're only a few of the hypnotising scents.

"Um, you fell asleep talking to Jack last night. So I carried you and put you in my bed, seen as I couldn't get into your dorm; not that I didn't try. There seemed to be a party of some sort in there; lots of screaming and laughing. There was no way that you were going to be able to sleep through that. So I brought you back to our dorm and let you sleep in here where it was – strangely – quieter. And don't worry, I slept on the floor," he adds quickly, probably to try and stop me from exploding and yelling at him; not that I possibly could explode anyway. The look on his face is soo innocent and cute (we are not going to discuss the fact that I associated the word cute with James, alright?).

"Oh, thank you. But you know, you could've left me and let me sleep on the floor. You shouldn't have had to give up your bed," I say, feeling a bit guilty; also slightly embarrassed. How can _his bed_ smell so good?

"I know. But I wanted to. And you've had a bad enough week as it is, without having a bad back," he says sadly.

"And it's about to get a whole lot worse," I sigh and pull him into sitting down on the bed next to me.

"You'll be alright. You're strong," he promises, squeezing my arm reassuringly.

"No, I'm not," I admit defeated.

"Yes, you are. Hell, you're one of the strongest people I know! You are going to go to that church, put up with your sister, mourn your parents and talk with your Muggle relations. You…can…do…this," James assures, looking me in the eyes and taking one of my hands in his.

"I'll try…anyway; I have to be strong for _them_. It's what they would've wanted," I agree eventually.

"Yes, they wouldn't have wanted you to be miserable."

"How do you know what they would've wanted? You never met them."

"You must take after them, seen as they were your parents. And any people who you take after must be something special. They must have been extraordinary people."

I smile sadly and rest my head on his shoulder. "They were the best, understanding, supportive people I knew. They put up with the fact that I'm a witch, and even though my sister hates me, they always stood up for me. I'm going to miss them so much. And going to the funeral somehow just makes it more final. They're gone, and they aren't coming back," I half whisper.

James pulls me into a hug and I snuggle into him and his warmth; a more concentrated version of that smell welcomes me and – for just a second – I realise how blinded I must have been not to see this amazing person for who he is, rather than the arrogant toe-rag façade he wears.

"You are so brave," he murmurs, stroking my hair soothingly. "I don't know how you're dealing with this so well. No matter how miserable or distressed you're feeling, you get up and carry on like normal. I would be a complete mess and a wreck! Sirius would probably have to _drag_ me out of be in the mornings."

"As if Sirius would get up before you!" I giggle weakly.

"That's true. I mean, look at him! There could be an explosion right next to him and it still wouldn't get him up."

This time I really do laugh at James's words as we both turn to look at our sleeping friend in the bed next to us.

Sirius is lying – no…_sprawled_ – on his bed, half-in half-out of the covers. He's curled up in a way that can only be described as _canine_, with his mouth wide open. He's only wearing a pair of neon yellow boxers with: _'Sex God'_ written all over them, and he's snoring so loudly that he's making enough noise to rival a mountain troll! How girls can find him irresistible, I don't know!

I examine the clock on James's besides table and sigh. "Well, somebody's going to have to wake them all up."

"How about you take Remus, Jack and Pete; and I try Sleeping Beauty over here?" he suggests after a second, with a casual nod in Sirius' direction; the strange thing is that he's given me the easy job!

"OK," I shrug casually, walking over to Remus's bed. "Remy, come on, it's time to get up," I say, gently nudging him by the shoulder; he just groans before rolling over and falling back into a deep sleep. "Remus, don't make me get Anna up here," I warn, referring to his ex-girlfriend from Ravenclaw.

My threat does the job. His eyes fly open and he jumps out of bed. "I'm up!" he exclaims, looking scared.

"Well done. Good morning, Mr Wolf," I smirk.

He smiles back and hugs me lightly. "Morning, Bambi. Sleep well?"

"Yes. You?" I ask.

"Yeah," he sighs, grabbing his clothes and making for the bathroom, closing the door loudly behind him. It's not like it's actually going to wake anyone up anyway! This lot could sleep though one of my Sisters' '_You're such a freak, Lily!_' rants, and that's saying something.

I have known that Remus is a werewolf for a while now; since 1st year, to be exact. I've known for a long time but I my theory was supported even more in 5th year, when we were both made Prefects. I put two and two together when he was never around when it was the full moon.

Even though I was pretty sure about what he was, I never told anybody about my revelation, not even Remus himself… well, not until last week, anyway.

I sat him down in the library and we talked it through. The reason I chose the library was because I'm not entirely sure that the rest of the Marauders know exactly where and what the library is; it was a safe place where nobody would disturb us. After a little interrogation, he admitted that I was right. I assured him wholeheartedly that he'd always be the safe old Remus to me. He is my friend and I know that he would never intentionally do anybody any harm.

Also, that was the day that I told somebody my most guarded secret. Nobody knows but him and me; and he's sworn into secrecy to never tell anybody; including the other Marauders. If he tells anyone, I will know and he should sleep with one eye open for the remainder of his life.

After looking at him from every angle, I walk over to Peter's bed. It's a brave move, I have to tell you. The whole area around him is covered in rubbish. There's half eaten food that looks like it could be weeks old, clothing scattered messily everywhere and his trunk has just been tipped out at the foot of the bed.

I jump over the majority of the clutter and make it over to the boy himself. He's lying with his feet where his head should be, the duvet right over his face, it's a surprise he can breathe at all. I pull the top of the sheet down to his shoulders so I can vend down and say loudly in his ear. "Aww, who's a good kitty? Oh, is that a dead rat in your mouth, girl?"

That is all it takes to send him rolling off of the bed, nearly flattening me, and hitting the floor with a loud thud and a squeak. Did I mention the fact that I know they're Animagi? Remus didn't tell me, but like with the werewolf business, I guessed, and I'm pretty sure my theory is bang on.

Jack is the easiest to wake. All I have to do is give him an encouraging hug and tell him to get up. And he did, bless him! Why can't all guys be this nice? And _clean,_ actually…?

Remus, Jack and James's areas are all very tidy, considering the fact that they are all teenage boys. If James's bed was a mess, there is no way that I would have laid there for as long as I did without having a fit. The fact that he is so tidy did actually surprise me. When I first came in here last week, it was a shock to find that James was possibly the tidiest out off all of his friends; even Remus wasn't as neat as him.

After my challenge of Marauder awakening, I turn to check on James's progress on Sirius. It looks like he has tried everything from yelling, firing water at him, and dangling him by his ankles from his bed; but still Sirius somehow manages to carry on sleeping through it all.

I dry Sirius off with a flick of my wand before telling James to get back out of the way. I step back before I charge straight at Sirius and dive on him, putting as much weight on him as I can.

He jumps up in shock, James catches me as I bounce away, and he laughs loudly. Sirius just stands there in shock, in his underwear, completely disorientated, looking at me blankly. "What was _that_?" he finally asks.

"My version of the 'Get-Padfoot-out-of-bed' routine," I say simply.

"Oh," he replies. "Well, it worked," he offers casually.

I look at James, James looks at me, and we both burst out laughing.

After a minute or so, James finally calms down enough to check his watch and he lets out a low whistle. "Well, Lilyflower, that was the fastest it's ever taken to wake up all of these idiots. I offer you my congratulations for a job well done," he praises.

"Thanks," I smile. "But I really have to go get changed now. I have a funeral to get prepared for," I sigh.

James gives my shoulder a light squeeze as I walk past him out of the room. Then there's a shriek from the bathroom.

"Sirius! You bastard! I've told you time and time again, you twat! Never flush the toilet when I'm in the fucking shower!"

"Remypoo, I've told you time and time again: do not swear; it has a very bad influence over me, seen as you're always informing me that I have the mental capacity of a three year old."

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Half an hour later, I'm ready; showered dressed and fairly presentable. At least my plain black – knee length – dress and coat will keep me warm in the cold church.

Not able to think of anything else to do, I pick up my handbag and leave the dorm; heading down to the common room to wait.

James is already sat down on the sofa with his legs up, taking up the extra room next to him. But that's not what surprises me the most. James Potter, is reading a _book_.

"Wow, James. Is that an actual real-life book?" I question, falling into the armchair nearest the blazing fire. This chair might as well have 'Lily Evans' scrawled onto it; it's _mine_. _Nobody_ sits in this chair without facing my wrath, which is something that should be avoided at all costs…just ask James if you don't believe me. Being on my bad side is no fun at all, and he's had his fair share of jinxes aimed at him to prove it.

"Yeah," he says sheepishly. "You must be rubbing off on me."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing," I point out, raising my eyebrows challengingly.

"Oh no, believe me, that's a good thing! You'll help motivate me into getting good grades and studying properly! This is a _very_ good thing!"

"I bet your Mother _lov__es_ me," I laugh.

"Oh, she would anyway. You should know, Lily: you are always welcome at Potter manor if you ever need anywhere to escape to," he says putting down the book and looking at me.

"Thank you, and somewhere in the holidays I might have to take you up on your offer. There is a ninety-nine-point-nine per cent chance that Petunia's going to be hell this Christmas."

"Well, you can come anytime you want." 

I smile thankfully at him and he smiles back.

If I'd been asked to go and stay at James Potter's family's house two weeks ago, I would have laughed and thrown a few jinxes at him for good measure. But now, the thought of going to Potter manor is quite exciting.

I look down at my watch and sigh, just as the hysteria quickly sets in. "James! I-I can't do this! I can't!" I cry desperately, my eyes wide in terror and my balled up fists are shaking violently in terror.

James seems alarmed at my sudden change in temperament but he tries to assure me. "You'll be fine, Lil," he promises gently.

"I won't! Oh my God, what if Petunia blames me! Merlin, it _is_ my fault! They were murdered in a Death Eater attack, James! _Death Eaters_! If I wasn't magical, they would never have been targeted! It's all my fault that my parents are dead! Why couldn't they just kill _me_? I'm the Mudblood…"

"Lily, stop! Don't call yourself that name! And don't even think that any of this is remotely your fault! It's not your fault, its Voldemort's. _It's not your fault_," he repeats.

I sit there shaking, dread overtaking every nerve and cell in my body. Why didn't this occur to me before? There is no way that it's _not_ my fault. The Death Eaters are hunting down Muggleborn's and their families, why didn't I take better care of my family? I should have been there to help them. They shouldn't have died.

"They shouldn't have died," I voice, almost mutely.

"I know," he lulls, pulling me out of my chair, and down next to him.

I weep silently into James's t-shirt as he combs my long hair with his fingers, whilst murmuring words of reassurance to me.

"What time do you have to be in Dumbledore's office for?" he asks.

"Half past ten," I mumble pathetically.

"OK, wait here. I'll be back in a moment," he tells me, standing up and heading towards the boys staircase.

"Where are you going?" I croak quietly.

"To go change," he answers, before running up the stairs – from what I can see as – two at a time.

For a few minutes I just sit there, not moving and not even attempting to stop the steady flow of tears tumbling down my cheeks. I wait for James to come back down, wondering half-heartedly as to why he needed to change. I hope it's not because his t-shirts now stained with my tears.

About five minutes later he appears at the bottom of the staircase. He's now wearing a black t-shirt and trousers, school-shoes and as he walks over to me, he's pulling on a black zip-up jacket. He holds out his hand for me to take.

I give him a questioning look before taking his hand and letting him pull me up off of the sofa and away from the lovely, warm fire. "Why are you dressed like that?" I demand as he walks with me out of the portrait hole.

"Because I'm going to a funeral, and I don't think that it would be very respectful of me to show up in a pair of jeans, hoody and a Quidditch t-shirt," he replies carefully.

"What? _Why?_ You never even met them," I point out, confused.

"I know, but what sort of friend would I be if I just left you? There is no way I can let you go on your own," he says gently.

"Er…thanks, James," I sniff. "You would do this for me?"

"I would do anything for you…and my other friends," he adds after a second.

I pretend not to notice the pause and choose just to smile gratefully at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lilyflower," he replies, matching my smile with his own.

After a few minutes we arrive at Dumbledore's office, I say the password and we walk up the stairs to knock on the door.

"Come in," Dumbledore calls from inside.

James opens the door and holds it open for me so I can walk in first; he then follows, closing it behind him.

Fawkes is perched on the top of a bookcase and wailing quietly to himself, he looks frail and tired. It must be burning day soon; and Dumbledore himself, is sat at his desk. He smiles sadly at me before turning to James by my side. His expression shifts to a little bit more of a happy loon at the sight of us together without physically attacking each other. "I'm glad to see that you two have found friendship in these dark times," he tells us.

"Me too," James says. "It's saved me a whole lot of time that I would usually have spent recovering in the hospital wing," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

I smile weakly, "You were never in there for _that_ long."

"No, but I've spent many hours in my dorm, crying at your cruel, cruel words!" he exclaims, clutching his chest dramatically.

"Don't be a Drama Queen," I giggle.

"I am _not_ a Drama Queen!" he protests, good-naturedly.

"OK, maybe you were dropped on your head as a baby, then," I suggest.

"Very possible," he mulls thoughtfully.

Dumbledore chuckles at our playful banter, and smiles. "Well, either way, I'm sure that my staff are very pleased with your recent lack of fighting."

I can't help but roll my eyes at James's shocked expression at the thought of making the Professors happy. I punch his shoulder lightly in a friendly sort of way.

"Are you ready to go?" Dumbledore says, his face turning sad almost instantly.

"Yes, but would it be OK if James came with me?" I ask hopefully, the idea of having someone there for me will really help a lot; and James really has become my rock since _that_ day.

"Of course, it is a good thing for you to have some of support," he agrees. "When you're ready…" he signals to the fireplace.

James and I both walk over to the – put out – fire before he turns to face me, and asks, "Where are we going exactly?"

"Oh, er…let's just go together," I suggest ducking under the hearth.

"OK, good idea," he agrees, passing me some floor powder out of a box he has in his hands, I wait for him to put the box down and join me in the fireplace before I speak.

I say my home address very clearly and throw down the floo powder, immediately we get consumed within the emerald green flames.

_**So what did ya think? Was it alright, good, bad, brilliant, or just so bad that there are not enough words to describe how terrible? Either way I'**__**d like to know, I love getting reviews! It tells me that people are actually reading what I'm spending hours writing, and it makes it all worthwhile. It would make me very happy if you just clicked on that little button below and wrote a sentence for me to get excited over receiving! Pleeeease! Or maybe (depending how evil I'm feeling) I will start saying that I will not update until I get X amount if reviews; just a quick warning. But it would be amazing if we could get it up to at least ten reviews by the end of next week. I'm counting on you**____**! **__**I love you all! Until we meet again Xxxx**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again! Sorry it took so long to update, but I was busy! It's Christmas time! You're not going to kill me at Christmas, are you? Please don't.**

**I don't own Harry Potter, the wonders of Potterverse belongs to JKR, **_**damn…**_

**Enjoy the chapter!**

We both tumble out of the fireplace, covered in soot, coughing and sneezing. Not matter how many times you travel by Floo; I think that it will always be a surprise just how dizzy you feel afterwards.

I step forwards and fall down into the nearest chair to wait for the whirling to stop and for my head to stop pounding.

James, however, just stands there with his mouth hanging open in pure shock. "You…you're…you have…" he stutters disbelievingly.

"Er, yes…well, I—" I start, but I'm cut off by a squeal from the hallway.

"Lily!" says a voice that I recognise almost instantly.

I turn towards her and my face breaks out into a wide grin. "Rosie!" I exclaim, jumping back up off the chair. "It's so good to see you!" I beam, giving her a large, bone crushing hug.

The next few seconds are full of gleeful screaming and jumping up and down in excitement.

"I've missed you soo much!" she gushes.

"I've missed you too," I smile. It makes me jump when James clears his throat from behind me; he's still standing exactly where he fell out of the fire.

"I thought you told me that you and your Sister didn't get along?" he challenges, looking genuinely confused.

"Oh, we don't," I reply. I walk back over to him and grab him by the wrist and lead him back over towards Rosie. "_This_ is Rosie, she's my maid," I explain.

Rosie smiles warmly and extends her right hand towards James. "It's nice to meet you…" she prompts.

"James," he tells her in a daze, taking her hand and shaking it. "James Potter."

"Oh! So…Lily, _this_ is the guy who turned your hair green last year?" she asks, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, that's him," I sigh.

"Brilliant! It's great to finally meet you! I've heard soo much about you and your friends' pranks! All I ever hear when Lily gets home for the holidays is Potter and his goons did this…and, Potter is such a—"

"OK, Rosie, that's enough," I interrupt shooting her my signature glare.

"Sorry!" she giggles. "You can go grab some food from the kitchens; Pierre just made some blueberry muffins fresh this morning for your arrival, and they smell amazing."

"Sounds great, thanks," I smile.

She smiles back politely and – on a more professional note – curtseys and exits the room, probably to attend to my Sister.

I sigh and turn to James. Not quite sure what to say, I go with something easy and safe for any question to any guy on the planet, "Are you hungry?"

He nods mechanically and rolls his eyes. "Is that a trick question? Lils, I'm a teenage boy, our stomachs are bottomless pits."

_Just as I thought…_"Well at least you're aware of that fact," I say casually. "Come on, kitchen's this way."

I start walking in the right direction but am stopped by James putting a restraining hand on my arm. I give him a confused look and tilt my head to one side. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me you're rich?" he demands pushily. He almost sounds angry, definitely hurt and upset.

"I never had any reason to. You never brought it up so I never mentioned it. James, you're forgetting the fact that we weren't exactly best friends a fortnight ago. Why would I tell you? And anyway, it's not important," I say calmly.

"Of course it's important!" he exclaims, running his hand through his hair; a habit which I now know associates with him being nervous or tense about something.

"_Why_? I'm still the same old person, with or without a fortune to my family name! Just because I've got money doesn't mean that I'm still not the stubborn bookworm with hideous carrot hair and eyes that seem too big for my face, who everybody knows at school. I'm still the stuck-up Head Girl who has only just recently been orphaned. Somehow my money status was the last thing on my mind these last few weeks. And I'm sorry that I forgot to mention the fact that I live in a place like this" I say in a rush.

James just stares at me in shock, his mouth wide open in surprise. "Lils, I…I didn't mean it like that," he says quietly, stepping nervously towards me; I step backwards, away from him, but he's persistent and takes a larger step and pulls me into a comforting hug. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have pushed like that. If you wanted me to know, you would have told me."

"It's not that I didn't want you to know. I just honestly never thought it would be important. I mean, come on, my parents have just died. I'm sorry that I forgot," I apologise, sniffling pathetically and burrowing myself into his warmth.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he assures. "Now, let's go eat. I'm hungry," he says, giving me one final squeeze before retracting his arms.

"I'm not sure if that was just a pathetic excuse of trying to change the subject, or if you genuinely _are_ hungry," I laugh weekly.

"I suppose it's kind of a mixture of both," he admits with a shrug of his shoulder.

"Oh well, come on. We can't have you hungry now can we?" I giggle - _whoa_! I _never_ giggle! It's such a silly noise that James and Sirius's fan girls make when they get winked at! I will never, _ever_ do that again!

"Did you just giggle?" James asks incredulously, his eyebrows raised, and a smirk hiding in the corner of his mouth. _Damn, he noticed it too!_

"Shut up," I say warningly; choosing not to answer the question directly.

"Oh, _Lily_. _Lily, Lily, Lily_," he says in a patronising tone, putting his arm around my shoulders. "Out of all of the time that you've known me, do you seriously think that I will ever listen to an order like that?"

"No. But it was worth a shot," I shrug in defeat.

His booming laugh fills the whole of the house and it takes a harsh smack in the gut from me to shut him up. "Ouch, Lils, that hurt!" he complains, clutching his stomach.

"It was supposed to, you idiot! Now, I thought you said you were hungry!" I point out.

"Oh, I was; but getting you all flustered is much more fun," he grins cheekily; gaining himself another smack.

I sigh and grab his wrist and drag him in the right direction, he doesn't put up much of a fight, because I'm pretty sure of he did I would never be able to move him without his will.

We walk through the living room and pass into the empty space that is used just as filler between there and the dining room.

When Petunia and I were little we used to use this space as our special room. We'd make dens' and pretend that we were anywhere else in the world. Camping in the rainforest, having tea with the elephants in the planes in Africa, or on a few occasions we'd even play witches and wizards! We'd go anywhere, just as long as we were together.

We were as close as two sisters could be when we were younger. Even though she was a few years older than me, we were always there for each other. She's get to do everything before me; she was the first to go to school, to be allowed to attend balls (not that I ever really minded missing out on those) and to be able to play outside with her friends in the orchard that was part of our back garden, but it didn't matter because at the end of the day she was my sister and I though the world of her.

But then I started to be able to do weird things, things that couldn't be rationally explained, things that Petunia couldn't. At first she was just worried about me and a little scared. But after I met Sev–Snape, she saw the things that I could do as dangerous. I was no longer her sweet little sister who cried for three full hours straight after her goldfish died. I was a girl who could do magic, and that is what pushed us apart. She was jealous, and turned that jealousy into bitterness, and so became the birth of her favourite name for me: Freak.

We walk through the main ballroom, two other living rooms, three drawing rooms and we go up and down six flights of stairs, some of them hidden and unknown to everyone except me. And then, eventually, we walk through the door into the kitchen.

"Oh, wow! This is busy!" James exclaims in awe, gaping at the scene unfolding all around us.

"Well, there are quite a few guests coming to the funeral, my parents knew a lot of people, so I guess our cooks really wanted to do their bit and feed everyone really well," I reply, inhaling the heavenly scent of all of my parents favourite foods.

"Ah! Mademoiselle Lily! It ez so good to zee you!" says a male voice in a heavy French accent.

"Pierre!" I exclaim, turning to look at our elderly head chef. I had grown up on his amazing cooking, and believe me; he could give the Hogwarts house elves a run for their money!

He comes to give me a warm hug before kissing me once on each cheek, pulling away and grinning widely. "It ez been so quiet without you! You do not know ow miserable it az been since you left! Your sister az been intolerable!" he said, stage whispering, winking mischievously.

"Oh, yes. Petunia will be Petunia," I sigh.

Pierre had always been on my side, and every time there was an argument between me and Petunia, he was always there with a plate of warm cookies and a reassuring smile.

He laughs merrily before suddenly seeing James standing a little behind me. "Oh, oo ez zis?"

"This is James," I say, grabbing him by the sleeve of his jumper and pulling him forwards. "And James this is Pierre, our head chef."

"Bonjour! But zis cannot be ze infamous James _Potter, _can it?" he asks disbelievingly, a smile threatening to break free on his face.

"Yes, that's me," James announces, winking at me, shaking Pierre's hand.

"Ah! We 'ave 'eard so much about yoo! Our Lily 'ere ez always complaining about some 'Potter'! She talks about nothing more when she ez 'ome for the 'olidays!"

"Yes, OK! Thank you! Jeez, is everyone in this house going to talk about that? I thought I could trust you guys!" I say in mock sadness, looking at Pierre with wide eyes, my bottom lip quivering slightly.

Pierre seems to almost fall for it but James ruins it by laughing at me and pulling me into a hug; seeing through the act almost instantly. _Damn his observation skills!_

"Oh, Flower! It's OK! I find it cute that you talk about me so much. I told you that you've always been in love with me!" he teases gently, his whole frame is shaking with laughter.

"And, of course, you were right!" I proclaim stepping back, grinning mischievously. "I think it's you hair. It's so thick, soft and the colour of liquorice wands!" I exclaim beginning to fuss around with the black mop on top of his head.

"Ahh, yes! Let's just call it good genetics! The infamous Potter hair! No matter how hard you try to make it lie flat, it won't, it will never be a different length than it is at the moment. It never grows longer, and if I cut it, it grows back to this length. So I'm very happy that you're in love with it, because our children will probably inherit it off of me," he grins.

"Poor unfortunate buggers," says a voice from behind us.

Sirius and Jack step into the kitchens, both smiling. Jack seems completely at ease here – which is to be expected seem as he spend quite a lot of time here in the holidays to try and keep me getting thrown into Askaban for murdering my Sister. But Sirius is just merely staring open mouthed at all of the food being rushed around the room.

"Watcher, Lils!" Jack smiles. He's about to say something else, but seen as I know what he's about to ask, I reply before the words even leave his mouth.

"There's some blueberry muffins around here somewhere…Oh! Pierre? Will you show Jack here to the food he can eat?" I ask the head chef, smiling slightly.

"Of course! Ziz way Jaq," he says, leading him off towards the food.

"Padfoot? What are you doing here?" James asks, confused, after a second to mull it over in his head.

"We're here to go to a funeral and keep an eye on Lilyflower dearest," Sirius explained. "Old Dumbles said that the more people here to support her, the easier it would be. So he asked if we were willing to come; and we said yes."

"Thank you," I smile, starting to tear up. My emotional balance really is shot and unstable at the moment.

"Aww! Come on, Lils! I know the thought of having this ugly mug's children is scary, but that's what happens when you befriend a sex-deprived teenage Marauder. We can always hope that Sirius Jr. doesn't end up looking like his father, because then it would be a brilliant name gone to waste on a person that looks like the wrong end of a hippogriff!" Sirius says jokingly, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Oi! I am _not_ 'sex-deprived', thank you very much! And I do not look like the wrong end of a hippogriff! And if by any chance we did have a child, we'd never call it Sirius!" James insists.

"Are you saying that a child of mine and James's wouldn't be the hottest child anybody's ever seen, Sirius?" I say, tackling his choice of words differently than the way James did. I raise my eyebrows challengingly, stepping away from Sirius and walking over to stand next to James.

Sirius looks quite surprised at my choice of a comeback but still manages to smirk. "So, that's it, isn't it? He's already got you knocked up. I knew it'd happen soon enough. Ah, Prongsy-pie, I knew you had to grow up and start shagging girls left, right and centre someday!"

I don't react, but I hear James splutter nonsensically at his friend. "Padfoot, I'm warning you..." he says threateningly.

"Ah, no, it's alright James. He's just afraid to admit that any child of ours would be better looking than him," I grin.

"As if!" Sirius snorts, rolling his eyes.

"James?" I ask in a sugary sweet, fake tone, batting my eyelashes exaggeratedly.

"Yes, Lily?" he replies, looking at me carefully.

"Don't you think any future children of ours will be far better looking than Sirius?" I wonder, snuggling up to him.

"Of course, darling, with you as a Mother, where could we go wrong?" he smirks, pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arm possessively around my waist.

"Don't worry, Jamie, you'll be an amazing Dad. And just as long as he or she gets your hair and Quidditch skills everything in our little family will be perfect," I say, trying to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing at Sirius incredulous expression.

"And your beautiful eyes!" James continues, staring into my orbs as he speaks. "I think it'll be a boy, seen all of the Potter first-borns have been boys for centuries. Any name ideas?"

"I really like the name's Adam and Harry," I tell him truthfully. I had always said that if I ever had a son I'd call him either Adam or Harry.

"Hmmm… I like, Harry. Harry Potter…it has a nice ring to it don't you think?" he smiles, his face deadly serious, with just a gentle smile. _Damn, he's a good actor._

"Yes, Harry _James_ Potter. It's perfect," I coo.

"He'll be such a catch for the young witches and I'll train him to be an amazing Quidditch player so that we can play together in the holidays away from Hogwarts; where he will, naturally, be a proud Gryffindor."

"Yeah, and we can always hope that he gets my cooking skills. Most women love a guy who can cook! We'll all live in a small village where he can grow up learning about both the Wizard _and_ Muggle worlds."

"He will get your brains."

"Your cunning nature and pranking ability." 

"Your incredible built in dictionary of insults ready a quick access when he needs a good comeback."

"Your fierce loyalty towards your friends, and the people you love."

"Your temper, and your—"

"—talents in the bedroom," we both finish, before finally looking at each other and snapping, our façade crumbles as we break out into a fit of hysterical laughter, clutching our stomachs breathlessly.

Sirius just stares at us, one eyebrow raised questioningly. He looks between me and James so fast his face is practically a blur. "You're serious?" he asks uncertainly.

"No, you are," James and I say at the same time, causing more laughter and a thoroughly confused looking Sirius.

"I mean it! You two aren't secretly dating are you? Because I'm not sure how much more of this my poor, poor nerves can take. You two being civil is enough to cause me to end up on the insanity warn at St. Mungo's for the rest of my life!" he insists, looking well and truly baffled.

"No, we're not secretly dating," I explain, rolling my eyes at him, and giving him a smack for good measure. "And anyway, what's so weird about us being civil to each other?"

"Oh, nothing, Flower, only the fact that you used to use every opportunity given to you to hex, yell, maim a certain part of Prongs' anatomy or threaten his manhood! I would never have though that I'd see the day when you two were discussing baby names! Please spare me the few brain cells that I have, and assure me that when you start dating, you'll explain it to me slowly so that I have the chance to process it," he says wearily.

"Sure," I laugh at him.

"Good, oh, and one more thing; I am going to be the Godfather to your first born, or Harry, as you have already named him," he says in a business type tone.

"What? No friggin' way, Pads! The poor kid's gonna need some kind of responsible behaviour to grow up around! And having you within a twenty metre radius of him could possibly be very dangerous!" James exclaims protectively and I can't help but to laugh a little bit at him.

"Aww! No fair! I'd be great God-daddy! Think of all of the pranks we could plan together!" Sirius replies, giving us his best puppy dog eyes.

"What on earth are you guys talking about?" Jack asks, walking back over to us with a plate of steaming muffins in his hands.

"We're talking about Harry Potter, of course!" Sirius says, lunging forwards to pull the whole tray out of Jacks hands.

"Harry _who_?" he wonders, a crease line appearing in between his eyebrows.

"Harry _Potter_!" Sirius grins, stuffing one of the muffins into his mouth whole, his eyes water and his face goes red. "Ahhh! Hot, hot, hot!" he cries, opening his mouth and trying to fan the remains of the scalding muffin.

"Well, yes. It has just been taken out of the oven, you idiot!" Jack rolls his eyes, taking the tray back of Sirius before he drops it on the floor because of the funny little dance he's doing. "But who they Hell is this, _Harry Potter_?"

"Mine and Lil's son," James grins shamelessly, pulling me closer to him again and – because I want expecting to be grabbed – I kind of fall into his chest. _Damn, he smells good…_

"What!" Jack half shouts. He looks at both of our faces before his eyes stoop down to stare pointedly at my flat stomach. "You're…you're… you're pregnant?" he asks worriedly, staring at me as if I've grown another head. "With _his_ child?" He points at James without even taking his gaze off of me. "Merlin's baggiest y-fronts, Lily! You've only just stopped hating him in the last fortnight! How could you be so—?"

"WHOA!" I exclaim to get his attention, swatting James's arm off of my shoulder so that I can go and stand by Jack. I prise the tray out of his hands—which are shaking with either fury or nerves—and pass it to James. "Jackybear, you know I would never be so stupid as to get knocked up at the age of seventeen," I assure him, using my old nickname for him to calm him down. "And do you honestly think I would let that ass over there," I smile signalling to James, good-naturedly, "Touch me in places that my father used to claim should never be seen by guys until I am over forty and married?" I ask, smirking at the memory of that conversation.

My Dad had been more embarrassed about the situation than I had been, and that was saying something! He kept talking in riddles that it ended up like he was reading me a children's book on the animal kingdom. In the end I just told him to stop sugar-coating everything and just tell me the cold hard facts; and he did. I think that conversation left him scarred until the day he died.

"So…you're not pregnant?" he prompts cautiously, looking at me with a worried facial expression.

"No," I laugh. "I'm not pregnant."

"Thank Merlin," he sighs in relief, pulling me into a tight hug that nearly manages to cut off my oxygen supply.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing we used protection then," James mutters, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

I laugh loudly and smack him firmly on the back of his head. "You're such a twat, James," I say, shaking my head in denial.

"You know you love me really," he winks roguishly, earning himself the fourth smack since we got here; it's a good thing that he doesn't bruise easily!

"Yeah, as long as loving you counts as—"

"LILY! What are you doing down here? You should be helping me welcome the guests, and…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?"

"Hi, Tuney," I sigh, reluctantly turning to face my older Sister's wrath.

"Don't call me, Tuney, its _Petunia_. You know I hate 'Tuney'!" she snaps angrily.

"I'm sorry!" I say quickly trying not to give her any more chance to explode at me or anybody else. "But it's just I've always called you 'Tuney', I can't help it!"

"Well try harder! And, I repeat: What the hell are you wearing?" she glares.

"Um…black funeral clothes, seen as we're at a funeral," I answer, a little confused as to why she looks so angry at my choice in attire.

"You will not be seen wearing something like that! You are an 'Evans'. We have standards to maintain, just because Mum and Dad are dead doesn't mean that you can suddenly start slacking off. Frankly you look like a nun. You. Will. Not. Be. Seen. Like. That. You may be a complete and utter Freak, but when I will not be taken down in society when you ruin the family name. So just try and act like a normal human being for once. No freaky behaviour and no…no…_you know__ what_!" she hisses venomously before finally taking in the stunned faces of the three boys stood around me. "Who the hell are you?"

"These are my friends. Surely you remember Jack? He's always here over the holidays," I reply tiredly, pinching the bridge of my noise to try and numb the forming headache.

"No," she answers angrily. "You had no right inviting these…these, _freaks_ here! This is our Parents funeral!"

That's it; she has finally managed to crack my calm. My temper flares up inside me and I can feel my face reddening in fury.

James, having experienced the wrath of my temper thousands of times before, recognises the signs, and he pulls the other two backwards away from me and my Sister to give us some space.

"How dare you," I say in a deadly flat threatening tone. "It is one thing to call me a freak, but my friends? No, Petunia, that is just crossing the line!" my voice starts rising dangerously.

"Why? You _are_ Freaks! All of you! You're such a freak, Lily! I can't believe I ended up having somebody like _you_ as a Sister!" she shrieks.

"Well at least I'm not a prude who is so shallow that she only cares about her status in society! This is our Parent's FUNERAL! They're dead, Petunia! The two people who raised us, they're gone forever! They're not coming back! And you're worried about who I decide to invite?"

"How dare you talk to me like that? If you weren't such a Freak, they wouldn't be dead! Why couldn't I have had a normal Sister instead of one who carries frog spawn in her pockets and can turn a cat into a tea cosy! You're an embarrassment to this family! It's all your fault they're dead!" she yells.

There's a collective amount of gasps and sharp intake of breath from behind me at her words, but I hardly notice anything. I grab my wand from where I'd had it stashed in my coat pocket and I point it at my Sister.

Petunia's eyes widen at the sight, but then she just sneers and takes a step forwards, nevertheless. "What are you going to do? Turn me into a toad?" she laughs, trust her to not understand what I truly _could_ do to her if I wanted.

"Oh, no, I intend on hanging you from the ceiling by your ankles until all of the blood rushed to your head!" I scream, finally snapping. "GO! Go show off your new handbag to the guests. Who cares if they're here to say goodbye to our parents; seen as you only invited them here to make you look good! Now get out of my sight and LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screech, my eyes flashing furiously.

With one final death glare, Petunia turns on her heels and marches out of the kitchen, not even bothering to look back.

**Well, the end was pretty depressing…sorry about that. But what did you think? It'd be really nice if I got some reviews, because right now there are 7**** for 4 chapters****. That's less than 2 each chapter! Come on people! I know you're out there reading this! Please! Can we at least try and reach ten by the ****13****th**** of January? That's two weeks, plenty of time to drop a work or quick comment in the little box at the bottom of the page! I'd really like to start the new year of with a bang! And getting lots of review****s**** would be amazing!**

**Any questions or thing's you're confused about, don't hesitate to PM me.**

**I love you all! **

**Xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**I am soo unbelievably sorry for the ridiculously long wait! I have been so busy with exams, homework and being in a pantomime that I barely had time to write any more of this story until this week. I feel awful…but will you guys forgive me? Please? **

**I'm sorry for any mistakes, but I really just wanted to get this up and not worry so much about any technical errors. I felt bad taking this much time as it is!**

**Disclaimer -I don't own JKR or Harry Potter.**

**Anyway, I won't keep you from reading the next chapter any longer, so here it is :)**

I just stand there, my hands shaking and my heart pumping fiercely, almost as if I've just run a marathon sprint. Somehow I manage to regain the self-control needed to put my wand away before I snap it in my temper.

"Lils?" asks a nervous voice, but I don't bother to reply.

Out of nowhere, Pierre appears with a hot chocolate in his hand. He presses the mug securely in my grasp, making sure I have hold of it securely before letting go. He pats my shoulder reassuringly and says in a solemn voice, "Lily zis es not your fault. You're not to blame 'ere."

I look up at him and force my lips into a strained smile that probably looks a lot more like a grimace to seem genuine.

At the sight of my pathetic attempt Pierre looks at me sadly and with one final squeeze of my arm, he retreats back into the manic mass of bodies whizzing around the kitchen at an amazing speed.

Once he's gone I put my drink down on the table next to the plate of muffins and sigh loudly, trying to get a hold on myself.

"Lils?" James repeats, cautiously stepping towards me as if he's scared to make any sudden advances in case of me being something as fragile as a time bomb waiting to explode.

"I'm fine," I say turning to give him another one of my false smiles.

"No you're not," he says gently, taking another step closer.

"I…I told you she'd blame me," I finally manage to whisper, my shoulders drooping in defeat. There's no point in keeping up a façade when James is around. He can read me so easily it's annoying.

"Then I guess that it's just a good thing that we know that she's wrong," he says comfortingly.

"But she _is_ right," I say dejectedly.

"No she's not! Merlin, I could kill your Sister, Lils! How could she do that to you?" James exclaims loudly in irritation.

"She's…she's not to blame. It's all my fault. Why did I ever think or believe that I could fit in with normal people –?"

"We're normal!" Sirius interjects, looking like he's in some sort of shock. Surely Petunia's behaviour isn't _that_ surprising? I mean, I _did_ tell them all that we don't get along!

"Not the best example to go by," Jack mumbles.

"Hey! I will have you know that I am very normal!" Sirius protests moodily, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away from them all in a huff.

"Just keep telling yourself that, Sirius."

"Why are you so mean to me?" he whines childishly.

"Shut up, Padfoot," James butts in, turning back to me. "Lily Evans, you are an amazing, talented, caring and beautiful person. Don't ever let your sister tell you otherwise. Do you want me to list a few things about Petunia? Horse-ish, snappy, insensitive –"

"OK!" I say quickly. "OK, I know she can come across as kind of mean, but she's really—"

"Lils, why do you keep defending her? She's horrible to you!" he says, genuine confusion leaking into his voice.

"Because she's my sister and I still love her! No matter how many times she's insulted me! She's still the girl who looked after me when I fell over and cut my knee on the concrete. She's still the girl who told people off at primary school when the other children called me a 'Ginger freak!'"

"Lily, she's a bully! She's not _that_ girl anymore!" Jack explodes, shocking both James and Sirius. They've never seen this side of him. Jack is normally a very quiet, shy and reserved person who _never_ shouts.

"Wow, someone's been spending way too much time with Lily, dearest and her famous temper," Sirius said after a seconds' awkward silence.

"Shut up, Sirius!" Jack retorts.

"OK, sheesh! Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Sure you didn't," I mutter under my breath.

"Liiiiily!"

"Siiiiirius!"

"Oh, burn!" Jack says, rolling his eyes.

I sigh and then look down at my overly-simple attire. "She was right. I can't go out like this."

"You look fine," James tries to assure me.

"No, I don't. I'd better go change," I groan.

"Ooooh! Can I come?" Jack asks eagerly.

Sirius bursts out laughing. "Prongs, mate, it seems that you have competition with Flower! For all we know these two have been getting cosy behind our backs for years!"

James and I both blush furiously and smack the dog Animagus at exactly the same time, while the colour completely drains out of Jack's face. Surely he knows that Sirius is joking? And anyway, James doesn't feel like that for me anymore anyway.

"I-I d-d-didn't mean it like t-that!" Jack explains quickly, blushing too, his face going from white to red within seconds.

"_I_ know you didn't, Jack," I say calmly, giving Sirius a glare.

"Good, well, what I meant was that I haven't seen Jess since the end of the summer, and I've really missed her."

"Neither have I, and she's mine!" I point out.

"Who's Jess?" Sirius asks curiously.

"My cat," I reply, trying to hide a grin at the look of disgust on his fact with the answer. "But anyway, Jack, sure, you can come. In fact, I think it might be better if you all come. That way I can keep an eye on you."

"We can come and sit in _the_ Lily Evans's bedroom?" Sirius checks to be absolutely certain that he heard me right, pretending to feel faint at the thought. "Wow, Prongs! She really can't wait for the pair of you to start working on Sirius Jr.!"

"Yeah," I say sarcastically. "That's why I'm inviting my best friend and the world's biggest pervert up there too."

"Well, you might be into that kind of thing," he smirks.

"I can assure you, I'm not," I scowl tiredly.

"Shame…" he sighs, looking off into the distance, wearing a dreamy expression.

"Knock it off, Pads!" James warns his best friend before I have the chance to smack him.

"Fine, fine! But we all know that what I say is the truth. Like it or not, Lilypad, I'm afraid you're going to have four-eyed, scrawny kids. Call it fate, call it my amazing prediction skills, or just blame it on our batty Divination teacher. But I suggest you deal with it and you start to get to know Prongsy-pie a little better in the bedroom department."

"Sirius, how would you like to be hung from the top of the Astronomy tower by your hair?" I retort, glaring at him. _Prick…_

"That was a good one!" Jack laughs.

"I try," I say smugly, shooting him a quick smile before turning to continue scowling fiercely at Sirius again.

"Ouch, babe! You wound me!" he cries, clutching the right hand side of his chest.

"Um…Sirius, your heart is on the other side of your chest," Jack points out helpfully, but we both ignore him.

"Sorry, sugar. But it was supposed to," I reply with a smirk.

"Oh no, Prongs! We have corrupted the – once sweet and innocent – Lily-bean!" he tells James desperately, his eyes wide in horror.

"She was never sweet and innocent to begin with," James and Jack both say at the same time, turning to grin at each other when they realise.

I smack them around the head and Sirius just laughs at our friends who are now rubbing the place on their heads' where I'd whacked them. I then smack him too.

"So do you want to come up or not?" I challenge, my hands on my hips and an eyebrow raised.

"Yes!" they all chorus, giving me identical apologetic looks.

"Alright then," I say exasperatedly. "Let's go."

"Lead the way, Red," Sirius exclaims, with a grand sweeping gesture.

"Fine, come on," I sigh, rolling my eyes.

Jack picks up the tray of muffins and I take my hot chocolate mug, then we all turn around and leave the kitchen.

Subconsciously I grab hold of James's wrist and pull him along behind me, keeping him moving so that he could not just suddenly stop walking, wanting to gaze at something in awe. Unfortunately, this stops working as soon as he sees some paintings on the top floor hallway, round the corner from my bedroom.

He grinds to a complete halt in front of three particular ones that are hung – pride of place – in the middle of the wall.

"Lils, who's that?" he asks, pointing to the one painting that I really don't want to talk about.

It's a painting of me with and a young man with chestnut brown hair – that's styled carefully – and dark blue eyes. He looks quite muscular – a complete lie in real life – and his arms are around me. Simply by appearance you can tell that he's a few years older than me. It had been painted at the end of the summer holidays, and I positively hate it.

The only thing I know for sure is that neither of us had looked _that_ happy when we were modelling for the artist. In fact, we had both been absolutely miserable at the time.

"That's…um, that's…Charles…" I finally answer after a while of deliberation on how exactly to phrase it.

"Who?" All three of the boys reply, confusedly.

"Charles Balterson," I say tonelessly.

"Who?" they ask again, looking even more baffled than before.

"A nearby Muggle Lord."

"_Who_?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! He was my betrothed!" I say before I can stop myself. I throw my hands up to cover my mouth to stop more forbidden things escaping. But unfortunately, the damage has already been done.

"Betrothed?" Jack and Sirius both chorus, bewildered. However, James looks at me in alarm, his face pale and his eyes wide.

"Engaged to be married," the messy-haired boy mutters for our friends.

Jack gasps and whips around to face me properly. He looks genuinely concerned and frightened, but frightened for what, I'm not completely sure.

"What?" Sirius wonders, the only person not to have figured it out yet.

"Lily's engaged," Jack mumbles, sadness on his face.

"WHAT?" Sirius finally exclaims, catching on.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me, Lily?" Jack demands, starting to get angry.

"I—"I start, before I'm interrupted.

"ENGAGED! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Sirius, shut up! You're not helping!"

"But she's engaged, Jack! And to think that Prongs has spent all this time moping around after a girl who is about to be bloody _married_!"

"I didn't—"

"That's just plain heartless, and you know it! How could she do this to him?"

"Sirius! Shut up! You're only making things worse!"

"How? How the hell am I making things worse?"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN OR NOT?" I finally scream, my patience snapping.

Sirius and Jack both turn silent as soon as I start yelling. They both know that when I shout, I'm not to be messed with and bad things could happen. So they simply nod their heads, mutely, not daring to speak.

I sigh, conjure up four chairs, sit in one of them and signal for the other to take the remaining three.

James – surprisingly – is the first to move. He falls into the one furthest away from me and then turns to stare at the portrait, his eyes shining with the amount of hurt reflected in them.

I have no idea why it upsets me this much when he ignores me. It's never really affected me before, so why now?

"Please?" I say quietly, looking at Jack and Sirius pleadingly.

With only a few seconds of deliberation Sirius walks over to me, grabs one of the chairs and drags it over to James and with a sudden surge of sadness, I see Jack do exactly the same thing.

I feel so isolated. My friends think I'm an awful person for not telling them something that I wanted desperately to keep secret. I never wanted anybody to know about this; about _him_.

"I was engaged," I start before I'm interrupted by a surge of vicious sounding hissing coming from two of the boys.

But James, however, remains silent and – if im being completely honest – it scares me by just how distant he suddenly looks.

"_Was_! I _was_ engaged!" I cry out, the day's stress mounding up so much that it feels like it's almost suffocating me.

At this claim, all three heads snap up to look at me. I'm more than a little relieved when James finally comes out of his trance.

"What?" Jack asks.

"We broke up, last Christmas," I say quickly, glad that they're giving me the chance to explain.

"What happened?" he wonders out loud.

"I hated him. I _always_ hated him. He was rude, stuck-up and conceited. He's a few years older than me, and he used that to his advantage. He made me feel awful about myself whenever I was within insulting distance. Also – to make things even worse – he was cheating on me with every other girl that he knew. He even had a fling with my sister at one point. But my parents…Well, they never saw his horrible side, so to them he was the perfect son in law."

"But _what happened_?" Sirius demanded expectantly.

"He got bored of calling me a fat, ugly whore – amongst other names – and he dumped me in the middle of a particularly fancy dinner party that my family were housing. Right in front of everyone we know. My parents were so disappointed in me, they truly believed that the whole ordeal was my fault," I say quietly, slouching down in my chair and looking down at my hands so that the boys can't see my eyes starting to fill with tears.

There's a silence before a sudden simultaneous scraping of chairs, and when I look up all three of them are sat close to me, wearing sympathetic expressions on their faces.

"I'm sorry for shouting," Sirius apologises with not even a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Me too, I didn't mean to yell at you. Merlin, what kind of a friend yells at you on the day of your parents funeral?" Jack says, looking completely repulsed with his actions.

"It's not your fault, either of you; its mine. I should have told you all, especially you, Jack. I'm sorry, it's just, I was embarrassed…"

"Why?" he asks concerned.

"I was trapped! Unable to do anything or take control of my own life! There was a reason I could never date up until this year. I wasn't allowed to, because I was already engaged."

"So _that's_ why you always turned Jamesies down!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed as if the secrets of the universe had just become clear to him.

"Partly. That, and the fact that he used to be an arrogant toe-rag and a jerk with a severe personality malfunction that made him seem generally egoistic," I say, smiling a little bit at James to show him that it's all in the past now and that I've moved on and started a new. He's changed and it was for the better.

He seems to get my silent statement and he smiles right on back, the life coming back to his eyes, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh of relief. That hollow James had scared me beyond belief and I'm so relieved he seems to be going back to normal.

"You love me really," he grins, throwing me a flirtatious wink.

"Oh, I know I do," I reply with a smirk. "Why else would I be allowing you to be part of the creation of 'Harry'?"

"You mean 'Sirius Jr.?" Sirius announces.

"No! There is no bloody way!" James exclaims at the same time as I yell: "Only when all of hell freezes over!"

Jack just laughs and turns to Sirius. "I can see that their relationship is going to last. They both share enjoyment from the very important hobby of yelling at you!"

"I always knew that I'd be the one to get them together!" he boasts.

Simultaneously, James and I both start furiously attacking him – with the tempers that we have each developed by years of fuelling them at each other – and punching every inch of his body within reach.

"Stop! Stop please! Mercy! Mercy!" Sirius cries, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Why should we?" James asks, prodding him in the gut, not enough to hurt him, just so that it causes a twinge if discomfort.

"Because you love me very, very much?" he said weakly, it coming out as more of a question than a statement.

"Hmmm….do we, Lily?" James asks me, winking secretly.

"I don't know, James. Maybe…we should let off with the prodding a little bit…" I suggest, slowly retracting my hands from where they'd been thumping Sirius on the shoulder – gently of course! Im not _that_ evil!

"Yes, I agree completely, and instead I think it'd be quite suitable to get involved in a dangerous…" he started, hinting for me to carry on the sentence.

"Completely life threatening..." I add, trying to hide a smirk at the horrified look of Sirius's face as he looks at James and me.

"Utterly antagonising…"

"TICKLE FIGHT!" we both yell, lunging back at the unsuspecting Sirius who yelps helplessly and starts laughing breathlessly.

"ARGHHHH! NOOOOOOO! Proooooongs! Stop…please…stop…_please_!" he begs, tears starting to drip from his eyes as he falls to the floor, unable to stand up properly in his current predicament.

"Okay," James just says simply stepping away; I mirror him with a nonchalant shrug. "So, Lils, where's this bedroom of yours?"

"Just down the hall," I say, signalling with a flick of my hand in that direction.

"Then please, by all means lead the way," he smiles, extending his arm in a very old fashioned, gentlemanly fashion.

"Why, yes, good sir. I shall do just that," I reply, taking his arm, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Totally spiffing, my lady!" he grins, holding his head high rather pompously, sticking his nose in the air.

I snort at his expression and roll my eyes. "You are truly an idiot."

"Yep, I know! Let's go, Flower!" he smirks widely.

"Alright then. Coming Jack?" I ask, turning to my friend who'd been watching the whole scene with amused expression on his face.

"Sure, Lils," he answers with a laugh.

"Great! This way! Come on, Sirius! Get up and don't be a wuss!" I sigh, looking back and seeing him still sprawled on the floor.

"I am not a wuss!" the wuss retaliates indignantly.

"Yes you are, Pads. Now come on! I want to see what Lil's room is like!" James says excitedly.

"Right you are, Prongs dearest! Let us go!" Sirius suddenly cries, leaping to his feet and bounding over to us, just stopping in time before he knocks us all to the floor. "Well? Why have we stopped?" he demands sassily, his hands on his waist.

"Okay then," I roll my eyes and start walking again.

Well, that interrogation could have gone a whole lot worse. That was one of my biggest secrets out in the open, and I feel lighter for it. Maybe I should have told somebody about it a long time ago.

**So…what are your thoughts? Any good? Worth the wait? Please let me know! I was happy with the response the last chapter got, and would love it if this one got a similar treatment. Can we aim high and go for 20 reviews? Until I have 20 I'm not going to update, sorry, but I just feel like I am spending more time on my other story 'Summer with the Marauders' because more people seem to be enjoying that one. So if you want me to write faster for this one, let me know that you're reading it and that you like it! Just a few words, that's all I ask :) **

**Until next time…**

**Love you all, from Megan xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm not even going to make excuses for how ridiculously long I have taken to update. I am soooooooooooo sorry! I just can't seem to think of anything to write recently….sorry, I tried! **

**Here's Chapter 7! I hope it's alright….**

**I do not own the HP universe but the plot-line is very much my own.**

"Brace yourselves…" I say, turning to face the two Marauders, one hand on the door handle, ready to turn it.

Sirius is practically bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet in anticipation and James seems to be having a stare-off competition with my door, either that or he's trying to open it himself using wandless magic…actually, it wouldn't surprise me if that is what he is trying to do.

Jack just stands there, an amused look on his face, watching the other two. He has been in my bedroom countless amounts of times, so obviously this isn't a life changing experience for him.

I slowly turn the door handle and then push it open in one swift movement. Sirius bounds past me faster than you can say 'chocolate frogs' and then lets out a very girly shriek.

"THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING BEDROOM EVER!"

Oh God…

"Lils…there's nothing breakable in there, is there?" James asks slowly, his initial excitement about seeing my bedroom momentarily sedated.

"Er…." Crap. "Sirius! Don't you dare break my dolls house!" I yell, running in after him.

Thankfully he seems more interested with my massive bed than the personalised dolls house my parents gave me for my eighth birthday.

"This bed is HUGE!" he exclaims, bouncing up and down on it and whooping in enthralment.

Yeah, my bed IS huge. It's at least twice the size of a king size bed and its covered in a detailed gold silk bedspread and a large range of fluffy pillows. It's also extremely bouncy – as Sirius seems to have realised.

In fact, the bed is so big that Sirius apparently didn't see my cat crawled into a ball and sleeping on one of the many cushions on first inspection. Big mistake.

"AAAARRRGGHHHH!" he squeals as Jess sinks her razor-sharp claws into his foot. Sirius falls off of the bed head-first, gathers his balance just before he hits the floor, tumbles over a pile of neatly stacked books, sending them flying, and then smacks right into James who had only just wandered in and was still standing in the doorway, causing them both to topple back into the hallway and to slide on the marble floor right into a solid brick wall.

Me and Jack both gasp and flinch as they hit the wall and then rush out to see if they're okay.

It seems as though James has taken the most damage as he not only rammed into the wall, but also had Sirius crush him.

"Merlin, are you guys alright?" I ask, helping Jack pull Sirius off of James.

Once he's free, James grunts in pain and then crawls into a ball on the floor, clutching his stomach.

"I hate cats…!" Sirius cries, pointing dramatically at Jess who has padded out into the hall to see what's going on.

She meow's innocently before coming to wrap herself in-between my legs around my feet.

Sirius growls at her and then pretends to collapse in Jack's arms. "Hold me, Jack! I'm dying! I can't die yet though!" he exclaims, clutching the neckline of the poor guy's shirt hysterically. "I can't die without professing my love to my darling Minnie!"

"Minnie?" I ask James, helping him sit up.

"McGonagall," he wheezes.

"Ah," I say understandingly, somehow managing to haul him to his feet.

I half carry James back into my room and help him lie down on my bed and Jack literally drags Sirius in – still claiming to be dying – and throws him in my reading corner which consists of more cushions and a series of massive beanbags.

"Godric, Pads….why the bloody hell are you so heavy!" James whines.

"I'm a growing boy! I need my food!" he protests, lifting his head so that he can see us all.

"Sirius, I don't think you need to grow any more than you already have," I say, trying not to laugh at him.

His mouth pops open in outrage. "Are you calling me fat, Greeneyes?!" he demands, jumping up and walking towards me threateningly.

Jack splutters incoherently at Sirius's fast recovery but then throws himself down on the end of the bed in irritation.

"'Greeneyes'? Observational as always," I tease, smirking at him

"I am not fat! Am I, Prongs?!" he insists, turning to his best friend, who is still getting over being squashed by said dog Animagus.

"You're no pixie, that's for sure," James groans, sitting up.

"How dare you! I am as light as a feather!" Sirius proclaims, doing a grand gesture with his arms before putting his hands on his hips sassily.

"Sure you are, that's why I'm in agony over here."

"Drama Queen!"

"Says you!"

"I am not a Drama Queen! Am I, Lulu?!" he turns to me demandingly.

"Er…"

"See! I told you I'm not, Prongs!"

"Shut your face, fatty!"

"That was mean, James."

"It was true though!"

"Well…"

"Stay out of this Lily!"

"Don't tell her what to do!"

"Just because you're wrapped right around her little finger!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"SHUT UP, THE PAIR OF YOU!"

"Whoa, Lilsies! No need to shout!"

"Sirius! Will you please stop with the ridiculous pet names!"

"Make me, Lily-billy!"

"I'm warning you!"

"Silly-Lily!"

"Padfoot… she said stop..."

"Lily-bear! Lily-boo! Lil…OOF! AHHH! GET HER OFF MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I told you…"

"NOT THE TIME, PRONGS!"

"No more stupid names!"

"Never!"

"NO MORE STUPID NAMES!"

"OKAY!"

"Good." I calmly stand up and sit down next to James on the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I feel a lot better now, thanks," James smiles warmly at me.

I smile back at him and then stand up and make my way over to my enormous wardrobe to search for Petunia's idea of appropriate funeral clothing.

My bedroom is at least three times the size of the dorms at Hogwarts and it's very lavishly fitted. It's mainly gold with odd splashes of colour where I have tried to brighten it up a little bit. Photographs of me and my friends and family scatter the walls, a Gryffindor banner hangs above my bed, a random pink feather boa is draped across the top of my wardrobe and then the prettily coloured cushions that Amy and I made ourselves one summer are scattered anywhere where there's space.

Eventually I find a dress that should be okay. I pull it off the hanger and then go barricade myself in the bathroom.

I wriggle out of my plain black dress and throw it into the corner of the room and the pick up the new one.

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"Lily, will you stop fidgeting! You look fine!" Jack hisses at me quietly.

"Are you sure? I feel really overdressed," I whisper back worriedly, rearranging the stupid hair accessory that Petunia threw at me a few minutes ago and forced me to put on.

"You're not overdressed. Take a look at Petunia if you need further persuasion," he says exasperatedly.

"Nah, she just looks like a meringue," Sirius chuckles under his breath in my ear, leaning over the food table, which was where the group of us had taken refuge away from my crazy Sister. "I mean, pink is hardly an appropriate colour for a funeral is it?"

"Oh, but you see, Sirius. It's not pink," I say in a rather accurate impression of Petunia. "It is salmon! There are many shades of pink! Honestly!"

Jack laughs at my impersonation and gives me a hug. "I'm so glad you didn't turn out like her!"

"Well, _obviously_ I could never turn out like her anyway! All shades of pink clash horribly with my hair and that would be a catastrophe!" I wink teasingly at him.

"Hahaha! Oh, Lils, how you make me laugh!" Sirius exclaims weirdly, before jumping over the table and picking me up and then slinging me over his shoulder.

"Sirius! Put me down!" I yelp, trying not to attract any attention to us. Thanks to my hair, I am very easy to recognise so if I get seen in this predicament, there goes my reputation even further down the toilet than it is already.

"You are now my prisoner!" Sirius cackles evilly before tripping over the plastic plant pot by the door and narrowly escaping head-butting the door frame.

"Real slick," I comment, rolling my eyes as he then half falls down the front step into the porch.

"I'm not used to carrying a dead-weight like you!" he defends jokingly, hobbling into the front garden.

"Ouch, you break my heart, Sirius," I say sarcastically. "Now, will you tell me where you are taking me?"

"Nope," he sings merrily. "It's a surprise."

I groan in defeat and sigh loudly. "But I need to be back in the house or Petunia will get even more furious with me!"

"Relax! I've got it all under control! Now, watch your head," he warns just before I end up face-planting an open window.

"Padfoot, you'd better not damage my future wife of I'll pay good money to have you castrated," James says, appearing out of nowhere.

"Okay, you can carry her then!" Sirius exclaims, practically throwing me at James, who thankfully catches me before I hurt myself.

"Okay, fine! I will!" James carefully picks me up bridal style and then carries on walking to the destination that Sirius seems to have been headed.

"Will _you_ tell me where I'm being taken?" I ask James desperately.

"Sure!"

"Really?"

"No." 

"Dammit…"

"Be patient."

"I'm not a patient person."

"Yeah, we can see that," Sirius laughs.

"We're here!" James announces, stopping a potential argument. He lowers me carefully to the ground and then takes a step back away from me, giving me some space.

I look around a smile fondly, starting to get teary-eyed. "Thank you," I say sincerely, going to hug both of the boys.

They have taken me to my parents' garden. Well, I say garden, it's more like a little paradise isolated from the rest of the world. This was their personal area that only family was allowed in, the servants were not allowed to look after this particular area of the grounds; this was the one area that my Mum and Dad looked after themselves.

"The last time I was in here I had a water fight with my Dad," I giggle, remembering the look of complete surprise on my Mum's face when she heard squealing and came to investigate, finding Dad in the process of throwing me in the fountain.

"He sounds like he was a lot of fun," Sirius grins mischievously.

"Don't go getting any ideas!" I smack him on the shoulder playfully before sighing deeply and walking over to the bench in the centre of the garden and sitting down.

"We know that you've been struggling to think of anything to say in your speech for the funeral, and we asked Jack and he suggested bringing you here. I hope you don't mind," James says gently.

"It was a lovely idea," I smile at him reassuringly. "I know what to say now." I mutter half to them, half to myself. "Come sit with me," I say, patting the space on the bench next to me.

James and Sirius both come and sit either side of me and nobody says anything for at least ten minutes, then I stand up and turn to face the boys.

"We need to be getting back," I say, straight-faced.

"Okay," James nods, also clambering up

Both of us then turn to face Sirius.

"Are you sure we have to go? I just got comfy!" he protests, lying down across the whole bench, putting his feet up and closing his eyes.

And then we hear a meow from behind the bench.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Sirius exclaims, jumping away from his previous seat and running towards the gate.

"Jeez, Sirius! She's only a cat!" I laugh, picking Jess up and giving her a hug. She purrs contentedly and settles herself in my arms to have a nap.

"She's lovely," James smiles, stroking her affectionately. "Why does she not go to Hogwarts with you?"

"Because she used to be a family cat, my mum would have missed her so much if I'd have taken her to school with me for the majority of the year. I guess I can take her with me now though. Petunia hates animals altogether so she won't miss her," I explain.

"That…that _beast_ is coming back to Hogwarts with us?!" Sirius cries in disbelief.

"You bet she is!" I coo, petting Jess's soft black fur.

"Brilliant…" he mutters to himself.

James laughs at his best friend before punching him lightly on the arm. "You'll be fine! Don't be such a baby!"

"I am not being a baby!" he insists, folding hid arms like a moody child.

"Sure you aren't," I sigh. "Can we go now? Petunia will be wondering where I've gone."

"Alright," James says, putting an arm around my shoulders. "You ready for this?"

"Yeah…" I answer, after a seconds thought. "I think I am. I know exactly what to say now; I need to focus on the positives of their lives. It's how they would have wanted remembering."

**Soooo…any good? Yet again, I apologise for the wait, but just know, I will keep trying to finish this story. I don't want to quit on it! I will be attempting to update more frequently, but no promises….sorry about that. :/**

**Can I ask for a few reviews? Please? It would motivate me to keep on trying…Oh! Also, if you have any suggestions feel free to PM them to me or leave it in a review, and please let me know about any errors or typos that I have missed whilst proof reading through this! I am trying to make fewer mistakes in my writing, so your input would be really useful :) **

**Thanks for sticking with me! It means a lot. :)**

**Also, could you maybe check out my more recent story 'Best Friends', I feel very positive about it and I would love for you to check it out and let me know what you think :)**

**Love Megan xxxxxx**


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